An imaginary conversation about "Who Am I?"

What happens when we try to define ourselves not based on our original design and blueprint but based on our belief system? We may find ourselves proclaiming we are christians one day, and then atheists another day, and then buddhists some other day. Some of us may describe ourselves like this: "Once I was a buddhist when I was young, then I grew up and became a christian. But after some time, I decided to become an atheist. I call myself an ex-christian and ex-buddhist. Now I am thinking of embracing mysticism or agapethism."

Even for those who subscribe to a mainstream belief system, we can see or imagine a conversation that goes like this:

A: I decided to become a christian when I attended a church camp in my teenage years.
B: Really? So what denomination are you?
A: Well, I started off as a conservative baptist christian. I believed the Bible is inerrant (nevermind the translation errors) and Jesus will return literally.
B: Interesting. What happened after that?
A: Then, some guest minister came and preached about the baptism of the holy spirit. I thought it was cool, so I decided to become a charismatic christian and I spoke in tongues regularly.
B: Cool. And then what happened?
A: Then later, some human rights activists were decrying the spiritual abuse and condemnation caused by organised religion. It got me thinking about the church creed, and I questioned about the doctrines of hell. I came to the conclusion there is no literal hell. So I became a universalist christian.
B: Ooo - wouldn't the calvinist and armenian christians and all those evangelical christians call you a heretic then?
A: You bet. It is not easy being a universalist christian. Then again, it is better than to live a life wondering about the kind of God evangelical christians believe in - one who is a mean, vengeful egomaniac.
B: So, are you still a universalist christian then?
A: Well, you know, even universalist christians don't always believe the same things. Some believe all are reconciled to God already. Some believe one day all will be reconciled to God. Also, sometimes life is hard. Sometimes I don't feel like God answers my prayers. Some of my friends are good at rationalising away things in life, dismissing religion and spirituality as myths and fairy tales. I am contemplating to become an atheist.
B: Oh, do you think God will be angry if you become an atheist?
A: Well, not really, because I come to understand God as love and only love. I'm sure God understands. Besides, we are already one with God, and God already knows what we are talking about even at this present moment - He is probably smiling and nodding in understanding. I believe the so-called "wrath of God" is simply something that the ancient people imagined in their mind because they felt separated from God and Jesus had to come to tell everyone the kingdom of God is within each of us.
B: So will you be an atheist?
A: Maybe, maybe not. I still believe there is God. But sometimes, I am not so sure. Maybe it is safer to call myself an agnostic. I know of people who call themselves atheist agnostics.
B: What a mouthful - atheist agnostics.
A: Haha, that's nothing compared to some of the fancy terms some christians call themselves - such as the so-called "apostolic, Bible-believing, devil-chasing, tongue-talking, spirit-filled fundamentalist reformed evangelical protestant christian". It's as if it sounds very impressive to other people, eh?
B: You bet. I know of people who give themselves impressive-sounding titles like "Most Holy and Reverend Emeritus Professor of Theological and Theosophical Bible College and Seminary with Doctorates in this and that thesis" - you get the picture, yea. I'm half-exaggerating to make a point.
A: Yea, I know. Sometimes I wonder if it is all just in the mind. You know, these preachers talk about love but they don't really demonstrate love in their life.
B: Oh yea?
A: Yea, some are like celebrity preachers and hardly mingle with the congregation.
B: So their teachings are just good-sounding doctrines, eh?
A: That's right. They also are not very kind to their own peers who belong to other denominations. They will say "Well, I believe the Bible says X, Y and Z, but you believe the Bible says A, B and C. So I am now officially disfellowshipping with you and your church because you are a heretic and misled by the devil. Farewell."
B: That's serious, man.
A: You bet. And so Preacher A calls Preacher B a heretic, and Preacher B calls Preacher A a legalist. And so on and so forth.
B: Wow, whatever happens to love and unity?
A: That's why I don't want to associate myself with mainstream christianity anymore, you see. I don't want to be a hypocrite, or look like one to others. Sometimes a secular humanist is better at human relationships and seeks to champion or promote social justice better than an average evangelical or mainstream christian minister.
B: You are not judging people, are you?
A: Not really - it is more like stating an observation. There are good and caring ministers everywhere, no doubt, regardless of whether they are in the christian or muslim or buddhist or whatever spiritual or religious circles.
B: So where are you at now, spiritually speaking?
A: I don't know. I am constantly evolving in my belief systems. Maybe it is better not to label myself based on my belief system. It can be tough trying to revise the terminology to fit in my ever expanding and ever growing understanding of the divine, of the world, of life in general. Any label would be restrictive and may even impede my spiritual progress or development, so to speak.
B: I suppose many people wouldn't agree with you. They like to fit you in a particular category in their conversations for ease and convenience of reference.
A: Yea, I understand, but life isn't always so clear-cut. There are always grey areas. For example, at which point do I consider myself to belong to a particular belief system that has a label without contradicting myself at some other point in time when my belief system evolves to another level of understanding? I think man-made labels like "christian", "calvinist", "lutheran" etc are best taken with a pinch of salt, if they are worth any salt to begin with.
B: That's true. Talking about salt, aren't you already the salt of the earth, metaphorically speaking?
A: That's a good analogy. Thank you. So are you. You are the light of the world.
B: Thank you. I gotta get going. I wish you a pleasant day.
A: You too. Namaste.

[Post updated on 16 November 2011]

Christian Theology of Violent God is Both Misleading and Pornographic

Someone astutely observed that the preaching on law and grace is part of the dispensationalist christianity camp. I think that this observation is true as the teachings on law and grace tend to portray God as a legalistic judge who will one day execute so-called "judgment" on "unbelievers". As for me, I would subscribe to fulfilled eschatology (as the preterists do), and my understanding of "judgment" is in terms of the conscience of the Jews in AD70, who mistakenly thought their God was judging them when the Jerusalem temple was destroyed. So yea, it wasn't God "judging" them or anyone at all. It was simply the "roaring of the lion" in their consciousness - Satan or the human ego - accusing them, and trying to deceive them into thinking God was angry with them, when all the while, God is already one with humankind and is never separated from humankind.

Another realisation I had recently is that Isaiah 53 also mentioned it was man who thought God was angry with Jesus at the cross. Isaiah 53:4 says "Yet WE esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions". So it is clear that it wasn't God who smote Jesus at the cross, although it appeared like that to people surrounding Him. Psalm 22 also recorded that God was all the while with His Son - "For He has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; nor has He hidden His face from Him; but when He cried to Him, He heard." (Psalm 22:24)

The truth of the gospel is that God is not angry with humankind at all - not with His Son, not with any one of us. God is love, and love keeps no records of wrongs, so the penal substitution view holds no water.

Preaching of Violent God is Nothing More than Pornography

The online Merriam-Website dictionary has an interesting definition of the word "pornography". One of the definitions given is: 

"the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction <the pornography of violence>"

It is ironic that many evangelical or fundamentalist church preachers are condemning people for watching pornography (which they often think is referring to sexual materials, maybe because they are struggling with sexual temptations themselves, for whatever one resists only becomes stronger), yet by their very condemnation of people with threats of hellfire and damnation, these same preachers are promoting pornography themselves without even realising it. Why is that so? Because they are projecting the "pornography of violence", painting God as some mean, vengeful and judgmental egomaniac. Not only are they manipulating people with guilt and fear, by preaching do's and dont's instead of the divine life indwelling people, the preachers are strengthening the power of addiction and temptations over them.

Want to see an example of a "christian" hellfire and damnation pornographic material? Well, for the sake of your health and wellbeing, I won't post the video here directly. I will just put a link here - watch it only when you are prepared. If you are already set free from religion and condemnation, knowing that the christian "hell" is a myth, then you may even find this video laughable because you know the person who did the voice-over was just being blinded, brainwashed and unconscious himself. "Oh the madness!" cried the preacher in the video. Yea, right - what a mad, crazy, looney fundamentalist preacher, that is.

Someone wrote, "I think that looking for God outside of ourselves is the problem; thus, I have chosen to reconnect myself to the real world. Therefore, I'm not an object of weekly incessant brainwashing, spiritual and emotional rape, psychological and mental manipulation and abuse anymore." I totally agree with that - what sweet freedom we experience - like a breath of fresh air - when we are no longer subject to the pornography and violence of evangelical or fundamentalist church teachings!

Related link:

"the god who burns you" - David Hayward

How are we righteous?

 Video commentary:

Christianity fosters self-hate in mankind (sometimes tastefully called "conviction of sin") so that it can offer its own special answer (salvation) to an entirely artificial problem. The real solution begins by understanding that there is nothing wrong with you just as you are - that man is not a "fallen" being.

If you consider yourself a christian, does it strike you as strange if people say christianity is a self-loathing religion? After all, you think christianity is about God loving us unconditionally, even the worst of us. Yet I realise there is something amiss with the presentation of the gospel by mainstream or traditional christianity. The doctrine of "original sin" tends to paint a picture of how sinful and fallen we once were, and a holy and righteous God could not stand being around us for a second more and had to come up with a plan to send His Son to die and cleanse us with His blood to make us acceptable before Him, and even then, those who are seen as "rejecting this good news" will continue to fall out of favour with God and will continue to suffer misery and separation for ages and ages in a place called hell without end after they die. What a miserable existence, is it not?

Another common refrain I have heard in the evangelical christian circles goes something like "We are nothing without Jesus" or "It is all about Jesus, not about me". It is as though to love ourselves the way we are is a terrible sin and can cause us to become proud or puffed up, and so we must see ourselves as originally dirty and condemned, and only Jesus' blood can wash us clean. I also hear believers say things like "All glory to Jesus", as if Jesus is somewhere up there and we are down here, and the only way to defeat pride and demonstrate humility is to try to make ourselves nothing and make Jesus everything.

Why is this important? Well, for a start, it keeps us from actually loving and accepting ourselves the way we are if we think God is constantly trying to change us into something we are not. Secondly, it may cause us to see others as lost and miserable creatures if they do not profess to believe in Jesus. No doubt, some of us may say Jesus saw people as sheep not having a shepherd, but I believe it does not mean that Jesus saw people as being destined to go to a so-called place for hell.

Thirdly, it can create a sense of false humility when people insist on saying that it is all about Jesus and not about them. The question is: How can it be only all about Jesus when He is already one with us? We are inseparable from Jesus, so if Jesus is glorified, so are we glorified together with Him. It is impossible to glorify Jesus without us sharing the same glory that He had, so it might as well be better for us to be truly humble and accept the fact that we are as perfect and complete and righteous and beautiful and powerful as Jesus is.

1 Corinthians 6:17 says "He who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him."

"Yes, but that is referring to believers", someone might say. Really? When Jesus died on the cross, who died with Him? When Jesus was raised from the dead, who rose with Him? Only believers? No, every one of us rose together with Him and we are united with Him.

"If we are already righteous, why did Jesus shed His blood then?" Good question. The interesting answer that I have come to learn is that God is not the one who requires the blood sacrifice. The religious sacrificial system is actually a pagan practice, which the Israelites borrowed from the pagan cultures in the old testament times. God does not need to appease His anger because He was not angry with us at all. "What? This is blasphemy! Heresy!" I hear some of you say.

Wait a minute, folks. Why would the Israelites think God was angry with them whenever something bad happened to them? Has it occurred to us that they interpreted events based on their concept of God or Yahweh, thinking that God must be punishing them whenever they were attacked by enemies or harmed by natural disasters like earthquakes? I believe before Jesus came on the scene 2,000 years ago, people back then felt separated from God. It began in the garden of Eden when Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and after that, they felt alienated from God. It was interesting to note that God was all the while with humankind, and yet humankind thought their sins had separated them from God.

To cut a long story short, the Jews in the new testament times needed to be saved from sin-consciousness because they had been under the law for so many years (about 430 years). The law of Moses could not save them; it only condemned them. The only way for them to be saved from the religious mindset is to understand that Jesus came to be the perfect offering. Again, it is not to appease God's wrath, but rather to silence the roaring of the lion that accuses them day and night in their own conscience.

"For the worshippers once purified, would have had no more consciousness of sins" (Hebrews 10:2)

This blood sacrificial system is never for us today. Why? Because we are never under the law in the first place. We are living in the new covenant of grace already. The law system ended officially in AD70, marked by the destruction of the temple by the Roman army in Jerusalem. So, since we are under not law, and by the law is the knowledge of sin, it means that sin has never been imputed to us.

So let's fast forward to the main question - How are we righteous? Is it by believing in Jesus or is it by Jesus' obedience? Some might say, "well, it is definitely not by our works, because the Jews sought to be righteous by obeying the law to obtain their own righteousness and have not submitted to the righteousness of God, according to Romans 10". I agree we are righteous not by our performance, but it is also not by believing in Jesus either. "What?" I hear you say. Yes, you read it correctly, we are righteous not by believing in Jesus, but by Jesus' obedience.

Romans 5:19 says "For by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man's obedience many will be made righteous".

"Fine" you might say. "That happens when Jesus did the divine exchange at the cross, for God made Jesus who knew no sin to be sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. That means before Jesus died on the cross, no one was righteous."

Well, not really, because the cross is outside time - Jesus is the Lamb slain from before the foundation of the world. Therefore, by the time God created humankind, He created us to be righteous and innocent and perfect and complete. We were originally beautiful and good and perfect - that is our true identity, and Jesus came to restore that identity to us. Our part is simply to renew our mind with this wonderful good news.

"And be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:23-24)

So, the heart of the gospel is that we are created righteous and holy and beautiful, and it is not by our doing but by God's doing. We are crowned with glory and honour. Christ in us is the hope of glory. And Love is who we are because we are made in Love's image.

Poem based on Colossians 1

In Him we live and move and have our being
All things included - living, non-living
Christ in us the mystery is thus revealed
On the day we awake, our soul is stilled.

Grace as a Living Reality

I have been reflecting recently that while there is a place for preaching the gospel of our inclusion in Christ, there is perhaps a greater importance and significance of living out the gospel in real life. When we make others feel appreciated and welcomed, regardless of their race or belief system or background, etc, we are actually indirectly proclaiming the gospel and telling them that they are precious and valuable, without necessarily using gospel language or bible words like Jesus or salvation. I will continue to meditate and munch on this food for thought as I also realise that for grace to be grace, it needs to be inclusive and a living reality.

"Always preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and IF NECESSARY USE WORDS." - St Francis of Assisi

I AM in the Now

There's a reason they call God a Presence - because God is right here, right now. In the present is the only place to find Him, and NOW is the only time. 

~ from "Eat Pray Love" book

Yes, God's presence is in the present for I Am is in the present and His words are always pleasant.

Proverbs 16 says "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and health to
the bones."

Another verse came to mind: "Behold, now is the day of salvation, now is the time of favour."

Every moment is the now, and every moment is the time to experience salvation (freedom from religious lies that bring guilt and condemnation) and now is the time to receive favour because we have been reconciled to God knowing we are made in His image and we are one with Him.

We can enjoy the kingdom of God within us - righteousness, innocence, peace and joy in the present moment. Yes, no challenge is too great for us, for His grace IS sufficient for us, and His strength IS made perfect in our weakness. We can rest in His goodness and grace, for whom He calls, He also equips. Heaven is our present reality, right here, right now.

The Unrelenting Pursuit of God's Overflowing Love

"In Gen 9:6 and numerous other references, God confirms that man is still His image and likeness. The image and likeness that man was created in, is immutable – it cannot be destroyed. Darkness might have dimmed it, the father of lies might have obscured it, wickedness might have twisted man out of his true pattern, but the essence of man has never been completely destroyed.

In Luke 15 Jesus tells us of the lost sheep, the lost coin, the lost son.

The sheep remained a sheep although lost; the coin retained its value, although lost; the son remained a son, although lost. In all three cases the owner remained the owner and committed to that which was lost. The sheep and the coin contributed nothing towards being found. In the case of the son, his situation changed ‘when he came to himself’ (verse 17)

Even the word lost has the most beautiful promise in it, for you cannot be lost unless you belong!

God still saw enough value in us, to pursue us and save us at the greatest cost. 

Mankind was not corrupted beyond the possibility of restoration. Mankind was not lost beyond the possibility of salvation."

- Francois du Toit

This post reminds me of the unrelenting pursuit of love of our divine Lover who constantly reinvents Himself to woo us because His love is constantly overflowing. Whether as a shepherd finding his lost sheep that is his duty and livelihood, or a woman recovering her lost coin that is her prized possession, or a father reclaiming his lost son who bears his own image and likeness as well as his lineage, his salvation and redemption of our souls affirms and assures us of our intrinsic value and worth. He would not rest until we are all redeemed. And even after He has bought us with a price, He continues to pursue us with love and blessings, reminding us always of our blessedness. Yes, surely goodness and love (Christ) shall chase us down all the days of our life, and we will dwell in the house of the Lord (Christ consciousness) forever.

Ripples of Love Bring Unity and Peace

No acts or words of love--or thoughts--or any kindness is ever wasted. In fact, every such act or word or thought flows and ripples, as Living Water, into the universe to expand, include and transform every appearance that calls for love.

So, the sandwich you give to a homeless person; the help you give to the one who needs it; the word of uplifting wisdom you offer; or the ray of light you shine into the silent darkness could be the thing that snowballs as the OMnipresence and helps to find a missing child in the rubble of an earthquake or give hope to the hopeless or bring comfort to those who mourn.

I AM-WE ARE Light and we are Love in our true being. Let's all do what we do so well and let who we are ripple out in ever-increasing circles of Blessing, Love, and Light. Hand to hand and heart to heart we share the Living Water of the LOVE in which we live and move and have our Being.

Be still and know that I AM LOVE. REST! It is in the stillness and silence, listening and receiving from the ONE, that we are resurrected AS Love. When we share this Love-Self (Christ-Self) in any way, however small, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil is withered at its root.

- Loving Unity

Yes, as we share this love-self (Christ-self), in any way, whether online or offline, the tree of knowledge of good and evil - the system of duality and separation - is withered at its root. We are witnessing the transition of global awakening to our true self and common humanity indeed.

Occupy Self with Christ

"I don't care if you are a liberalist or conservative nationalist/republican. No political transformation has ever produced any sustainable profit to society. Neither has any form of religious movement brought any profound changes. It has only caused a deep rooted division between groups. An intrinsic change of heart is therefore necessary; a spiritual awareness, knowing that we are all connected to the Cosmic Christ, called in the ancients world as YEHESHUA, the Logos, manifested in flesh and enlightening every human being that comes into this world. John 1:4, 9.

I don't believe for a moment that the world, especially the Arab world, is now a better place without Khadafi. This world will only become a better place when a corporate Christ consciousness will be awakened within the soul of every individual."
- Jath van der Westhuizen 

Yes, when people awaken to the divinity within them, knowing they are Christ manifested, there would be no problem of greed or injustice in the long run because wherever the awakening happens - whether in a system of capitalism or communism or fascism or anarchism - the awakening would have caused people to remember who they really are and relate to one another as fellow human beings sharing a common divinity, knowing that we are one.

So in a sense, while there is a global revolution for outward changes, I believe there is a greater revolution taking place within the people. Both are necessary and both should take place concurrently. The inner reality will manifest in the outer reality.

Someone wrote: "Popes, Prime Ministers, Presidents, Preachers, Pontificators, these things aren't so necessary in a world where We have realized who We are. A world, where we all live, where we know Gnosis and then actualize this realization."

Yes, popes, prime ministers, presidents, preachers and so on are merely roles, which if not established on the truth of our original identity in Christ, will only result in discrimination. Perhaps the best  solution to create a world of equality and freedom is to occupy these worldly minds with the gnosis of our true identity as new creations. I think occupying self with Christ is the best and most life-transforming occupation we all can ever have.  May we continue to occupy America, Europe, Asia Pacific, Africa and Middle East with Christ consciousness even as we share the gospel of grace and peace in our own ways.

What the hell is the preacher talking about?

A preacher recently said that heaven and hell are real places, not metaphors. He claimed that Jesus described "hell" as having fires not quenched and worms not dying. He added that if heaven is a metaphor, then where is Jesus' present physical resurrected body today?

Then again, is not Jesus a Master of using parables and metaphors to bring His messages across, especially in the Jewish context? So, what makes one think that one parable is metaphorical and another parable literal?

For example, how can we claim that Jesus' speech about plucking out our eye if it offends us is metaphorical, and at the same time claim that when Jesus' speech about fire that is not quenched and worms that do not die is literal?

So what is my take on the above passage? Well, simply this: Jesus was using metaphors to describe the "condemnation of gehenna" experienced in the conscience of the unbelieving Jews during the destruction of the Jerusalem in AD70. And nope, Jesus' resurrected body isn't in a place called heaven - He is living in each of us. It is called "Christ in you, the hope of glory". We are all already seated together with Christ in the heavenly places, right here right now.

Those who preach the doctrines of hell continue to terrorize the minds of little children on a daily basis, and tragically, these preachers will continue to get away with abusing the minds and lives of impressionable little children until we stop the abusers. ~ Michael W. Jones

Resource links:
Jesus' teaching on hell (Tentmaker)
Bible Threatenings Explained (Tentmaker)
Are heaven and hell real places? Where is Jesus’ body today?

Luke 12:5 Perfect love that casts out fear

Someone asked, "How do you get a message of unconditional love from a figure who repeatedly said things like, "But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you in hell?" (Luke 12:5)

Has it occurred to us that Jesus wasn't referring to God or our heavenly Father in the above speech? Jesus Himself spoke of the "thief" who came to steal, kill and destroy. He spoke about Satan, who is a murderer from the beginning. Who is the murderer? Who is the thief? Who is the one who kills?

I believe Jesus was referring to Satan, who is not actually the personal devil, but that part of our conscience that accuses or condemns us. In the old testament, the devil actually was the manifestation of Yahweh, who is a figment of imagination of those who had a separation mindset.


So what was Jesus saying in the above context? I believe He was exhorting His disciples not to fear the Pharisees who might seek to kill them for spreading the good news of how good and loving our Father in heaven is. He told them to fear the enemy instead - the evil conscience who sought to kill by condemning them if they don't believe they are righteous and blameless - that took place in AD70 when the "condemnation of hell (gehenna)" was in the minds of those who had not believed the good news that they were already one with God.


Jesus went on to reassure the disciples that our heavenly Father - the true God - takes care of the sparrows, and we are of more value than the sparrows. Therefore, He can protect us from the murderer (Satan) as well as from the Pharisees. That, to me, speaks more sense about God's unconditional love - love keeps no records of wrongs, and love does not kill anyone! Love heals! Love protects!

In a nutshell, Satan kills but Jesus saves, heals, protects, and gives life. Satan (accuser of the brethren) is a life-taker and condemner, but our heavenly Father is a life-giver and justifier.


Jesus is the perfect manifestation of God. Jesus always tells people not to be afraid of Him. His love is the perfect love that casts out fear.

Hell under fire

Someone wrote:

"Many theologians & church leaders are getting nervous these days. I can sense it. They're trying desperately every last ditch effort to protect their precious doctrine of hell. There's one book in the religion section of this bookstore I went to earlier this week titled "Hell Under Fire". The cover shows flames on it. Anyway the authors were saying that the teaching of universal salvation is gaining ground and "infecting" the church as they put it. These are authors that are getting nervous about that.

They are nervous because they don't know how to answer the tough questions such as Why God would bother creating souls if He knew that the majority of them would be lost in hell forever? How is 70 years of sins worth infinite punishment in the afterlife? That's not justice." 

 He also wrote: 

"Am I the only one who notices that universal salvation is the most hated doctrine among just about all Christian denominations? A lot of denominations will fight and argue over doctrine but they have a common hatred for universalist doctrine. Why is that? Even among grace believers who don't believe in the salvation of all they would rather fellowship with legalists than universalists. I remember someone admitting they thought universalism was more dangerous than the legalists doctrine. Why is the doctrine of salvation of all hated by all of Christianity?

It is one thing to not agree with the doctrine but why does it seem like all denominations in Christianity can come together and join forces to gang up on universalists?"

I think some 'grace' believers are against universalism because the false doctrine of hell controls them with fear. They might think "what if I believe there is no hell and it turns out I am wrong and god decides to send me there?" Or "what if I believe everyone is saved and don't share the gospel and it turns out that not everyone is saved and I will have failed in evangelism?"

I think these fears are unfounded and are caused by erroneous teachings on salvation that misrepresent God. For one, we know salvation is not about saving people from hell. Two, they have an image of the small-minded, petty god who throws tantrums if people thinks he is too good and loving to throw people in hell. Three, it's all about 'me' at the end of the day. They want to hear "well done, good and faithful servants" after they die. They don't want to lose their "rewards" for "serving god" in church buildings and telling people about "turn or burn", which is actually not good news for everyone. They are afraid to lose god's favour.

So, this reveals their heart on what people really believe about grace. If they think grace is limited and exclusive, then their version of grace is not really grace, and their gospel is not really good news, but a sick, twisted, perverted doctrine that subtly controls people with fear, guilt and condemnation. 

To believe in grace and hell at the same time is kinda oxymoronic, like the term 'grace-hell believers'. I used to come from that kind of evangelistic christian background too, so I roughly know where they are coming from if they claim to believe in grace and yet refuse to let go of the hell doctrine.

To be sure, the idea of inclusivity sounds wonderful to them, but there is perhaps a legalistic or vengeful trait in their mindset if they are hell-bent on seeing certain people end up in a physical place called hell.

One of my care group friends recently asked me "What about the murderers, adulterers, etc?" when I told her there is no physical place called hell. My answer to her question is that we are all murderers and adulterers. I think these make up the old Adamic identity based on our performance, and the gospel is about our new identity based on our co-identification with Christ.

I also need to remind myself that I can't expect them to change their mindset overnight after many years of being indoctrinated about the hell doctrine by the institutional church. It can be disappointing and frustrating to face incredulous opposition from others when we explain to them there is no physical hell. So if they think I'm a heretic and I'm misled to believe in something outside of mainstream church teachings, then so be it.