I have seen how youths have been indoctrinated by the institutional church. It seems that often they end up becoming mini versions of the pastors, mirroring the way they think and speak. They may be smart but somewhat misguided. I see myself in that because I have been influenced by the way the pastor speak too and I have borrowed his lingo in the past.
If I were to bring up my own child, I would prefer him or her to be compassionate foremost, and also be teachable yet discerning. While I may be pleased if my child takes me or my words seriously out of respect, I would also want my child to think for themselves and come to their own conclusion.
On another note, I think some people who have come out of the Christian religion may appear nasty or insensitive because they have not been subject to as much hurt and abuse in some areas as others, so it can be hard for them to relate to those who have undergone much pain and suffering. Besides, they may have been indoctrinated to the extent they are not even aware they have been abused in those areas. Instead, they may find themselves defending the doctrines they grew up with, such as the idea of respecting the "bride of Christ" and not being critical about the abusive church culture, since they may have accepted such mindsets without much questioning. I see myself in that because I too have been blinded by church teachings when I used to attend their services and serve in their ministries. Conversely, those of us who have shared about our pain and suffering openly in a community of people who have undergone abuse in institutional churches have chosen to be vulnerable in expressing our hurt, and perhaps only those who have been hurt similarly would be better able to empathise with us and show acceptance and non-judgment.
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