How does a person overcome one's hatred towards "Christians"?

Someone asked in Yahoo Answers this question:

"How do I overcome my hatred towards Christians?
Two years ago I met God. He turned my life around. He helped me grow, He helped me mend seemingly un-mendable relationships. Last summer I was supposed to be a counselor/TA at a Christian summer camp. The application told me to write down what I was passionate about. I said that I am passionate about marriage equality, helping teenage drug addicts, being a part of stopping sexual trafficking, and treating animals with the same respect I treat humans with. I was basically "kindly asked to leave" because I supported marriage equality and thought that the lives of animals are worth just as much as humans. It has been several months and I still cannot overcome this anger and hatred that boils up inside of me when I see anything Christian. Right now at school I am learning about Christianity and just reading about it disgusts me beyond belief. I don't want to hate Christians but I don't know how to overcome this anger within me. Please help."

 Below is an excerpt of my answer.

"I am sorry to know about the unkind treatment you received from the Christian organisation for stating your beliefs that differ from theirs. I have had my fair share of being treated unkindly by some church members for believing differently from their mainstream church doctrines/teachings. I am no longer attending any church services today.

I have come to learn that it is okay to feel angry at them. Acknowledging our anger and hatred towards them for mistreating us (instead of suppressing our emotions) is actually a step towards finding healing and ensuring our emotions do not control us in the long run.

I would say our anger is directed not so much at Christians as it is towards what they represent. Some are more open-minded and gracious than others, and it so happened we have encountered the more close-minded ones. I can understand that having been hurt by them, anything that is associated with Christianity would leave a bad taste in your mouth, and you would naturally want to stay away from it as far as you can.

At a deeper level, I personally would want to see everyone as human beings, whether they call themselves Christians or otherwise, as I have come to see that Christianity is only a belief system like all other belief systems. One man's orthodoxy is another man's heresy, as the saying goes. Our beliefs about God are ultimately personal and subjective. I think this view helps me to see them from a bigger perspective and realise that the way the adherents in a particular religion treats others is mostly a result of incessant indoctrination by their system, and they were only projecting the bias and prejudices they have been taught onto us who were unfortunate enough to be in their presence at that time.

In the meantime, in order to overcome your hatred towards them, I think writing your thoughts in a journal or blog helps. Even as I am sharing my thoughts in my answer, I am helping myself to articulate my thoughts regarding Christianity at this point of my journey in life. Talking with trusted friends helps too, as we all need support and safe outlets to ventilate our thoughts and emotions."

How we can deal with belief systems that make us suffer

"Examine your possible motives for wanting to suffer. Do you deny that there’s anything wrong? Do you think it makes you a better person not to show others that you hurt? Do you enjoy the attention you get when you are sick or in distress? Do you feel safe being alone and not having to make tough choices?

Belief systems are complex—they hold together the self we want to present to the world. It is much simpler not have beliefs, which means being open to life as it comes your way, going with your own inner intelligence instead of with stored judgments. If you find yourself blocked by your suffering, returning to the same old thoughts again and again, a belief system has trapped you. You can escape the trap only by ending your need to cling to these beliefs."

~ Deepak Chopra

In response to the contemplative post above, I suppose belief systems are complex because we human beings are complex as we are all conditioned or influenced by different worldviews and experiences as we grow up in life. Perhaps our way of thinking as little children tends to be simpler and more carefree, but after growing up and facing hardship and disappointment, we begin to form certain beliefs about ourselves and others. Usually organised religions may appear to offer some help in relieving these sufferings, through their promises of "eternal life" and "salvation", but they are limited at best and misguided at worst and may only add to the suffering, such as their sin theology which causes people to think there is something wrong with themselves and others, or the idea of denying one's humanity.

Like what Deepak Chopra wrote, letting go of old limiting belief systems and being open to life can help relieve people from self-imposed sufferings. I think the Christian religion often propagates the idea of "martyrdom" in that the followers think they must silently suffer for "God" and bear hardship and even glory in their "persecutions". While there is a place for cultivating patience and endurance in life, regardless of one's religion, I think sometimes religions carry things a bit too far in this aspect, to the extent the church culture allows abuse and manipulation to go unchecked or unnoticed by preaching submission to leaders or elders and frowning against any open display of honest questioning and any expression of doubt, hurt, anger or bitterness. A recent blog and Darin Hufford's article "The Bitterness Phenomenon" came to mind, which remind people that it is ok to feel angry or bitter, and we can choose not to allow ourselves to be guilt tripped by those in the religious circles for expressing our humanity. It is our way of finding greater freedom through recovering our humanity and being true to ourselves.

CON/science

I think the word "CON/science" is a creative play on the spelling and captures the essence of many religious teachings about the human "conscience". Yes, religion majors on the art of pricking people's conscience to the point it becomes a science of conning people to think there is something wrong with them and they need to fast, confess sins and/or do a thousand and one things to appease a displeased deity. It plays on people's guilt and fear of rejection, abandonment and punishment.

The preaching of penal substitution view of the cross doesn't really alleviate guilt either; it only perpetuates the illusion of an imaginary god with anger and ego problems. Hence, I believe when Jesus said you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free, He was saying that the truth will make us free from illusion, guilt, shame, fear and condemnation.

What is truth? 

Some evangelical christians think that telling the truth is telling people they will go to hell if they don't believe in Jesus. That's not truth because truth is synonymous with grace. Truth is about being free from illusion and ignorance. The good news is about God's unconditional love and our true identity in Him.

I also have been thinking about the question Pontius Pilate asked Jesus. After Jesus had told him "Everyone who is of the truth hears my voice", Pilate asked "What is truth?" I believe Jesus was saying those whose eyes have been opened to see the kingdom of God within themselves have known the truth, and therefore they hear His voice of love, grace and mercy. Those who were under religion (including the Pharisees) and world system (including the Roman governor) were still living in illusion and ignorance. They neither knew God as unconditional love nor knew their true identity.

When Jesus began preaching the gospel in Israel, He was essentially warning the Jews that in the days to come, there would be no more temple and no more sacrificial system. What then would the Jews do to get right with God (or at least they thoughts so)? They would probably experience a sense of alienation and condemnation when these outward rituals ceased to be. In the same way, today's religions still very much depend on outward rituals, like going to "church" etc, to get in the good books of "god". It's living in illusion. Truth is the antidote to illusion.

Truth is not con/science. Truth says we are already innocent, already blameless, beloved and favoured.

Some Reflections on a Trinitarian View of the Cross

The following is a very interesting article by Bill Nieporte, which refutes the penal substitution view of the cross in a positive way. I can relate to this article because like the author, I used to subscribe to the penal substitution view of the cross, and later realised that this view faces several problems. I think he summarised the main problems of that view well, such as the triune God – the Father, Son and Holy Spirit – is not separated from Himself or one another, and the fact that Jesus came as a revelation of God as our loving Father.

After all, in the past few years, I have listened to preachings like this: “Yes, God is love, but God is also just. God hates sin and has to punish sinners, so God punished His Son on our behalf at the cross.” Or “Yes, God is our Father, but God is also a Judge. As a Father, He wept for His Son, but as a Judge, He had to turn His back and forsake His Son at the cross – He was forsaken by the Father so that you and I will be accepted by the Father.” I have accepted this view without much questioning in the past, because the preachers sounded convincing in the way they presented this view of the cross. It was also a popular view, as it seemed to be widely accepted by people among the evangelical christian circles.

I guess the penal substitution view might even sound logical to most people because we tend to equate our human sense of justice with God’s idea of justice. In most (if not all) societies, the law court would impose on an offender some form of punishment, such as fine, jail or death penalty, depending on the severity of the crime. But this punishment is mainly retributive and serves as a deterrent for others – it is neither remedial nor restorative. The judge also gains nothing out of it. God, on the other hand, has a different view of justice – He judges on behalf of the poor, the downcast, the oppressed, and the sinners. God is love, and His justice must be viewed from the perspective that His nature is love — love wants the best for us.

So who did God judge at the cross? Not us. Not His Son. I believe God judged the devil, who is the accuser of the brethren, and he is none other than our guilty conscience, so that today, our conscience can no longer condemn us or make us think God is angry with us or out to punish us. God saves us from wrong thinking (which began in the garden of Eden), by sending His Son to open our eyes to the truth of the gospel – through His finished work at the cross, He has cleansed our conscience so that we can have the boldness and freedom to fellowship with God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit who is all the while with us and for us. We can boldly and freely enjoy the warm fellowship and love with the triune God in our daily life.

“The reason I am ‘hung up’ on this (as you put it) is that I am passionate about biblical theology. What is advocated by those who hold ‘penal substitution’ view of redemption is a hermeneutic that is imposed on the scripture from the outside. It does not rise up from the text. I once believed otherwise – but as I have more carefully studied the Bible – I am no longer able to accept the schizophrenic view of God that teaches that Father was dumping anger or wrath out on Jesus when he was on the cross. My foundation has been a renewed understanding and appreciation for the biblical doctrine of the Trinity.

The ‘penal substitution’ view is in error in that it divides God into parts differing personalities, rather than a Triune who share the same nature (LOVE). The early church fathers referred to this as perichoresis – a Greek term that means ‘cleaving together.’ It describes the fellowship (Baxter Kruger calls it ‘the Divine dance’) that exists between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, as they embrace and infuse each other. This is more than just intimacy and self-sufficiency. It is also the understanding that the Father, Son, and Spirit are one in being. Karl Barth considers the  doctrine of the Trinity so important that it became the lynchpin of this entire theology. In fact, the doctrine of the Trinity (Barth referred to the ‘one in threeness’ and ‘three in oneness’ or God) was the prolegomena of his systematic theology.

Here is where the problem lies. The idea that one part of God could be angry at us and the other loving toward us is contrary to this core biblical doctrine of the Christian faith. The idea that Father could in any way pour out anger or wrath on Jesus in anathema to a good Trinitarian, as it cuts up the Godhead into separate entities, rather than affirming the unity of the Godhead. This is unbiblical.

Compounding this biblical error is that it serves as a basic denial of the doctrine of the Incarnation which teaches us that Jesus was the perfect expression of the Father in human form (see Hebrews 1:3). In Jesus, God is seen not as some wrathful God of vengeance who must be appeased. Rather God is full of compassion and mercy, as witnessed in Jesus.
What Trinitarians advocate is that the place from which to understand scripture and all doctrines of the Christian faith is by looking at the love and kindness of Jesus, who came to reveal what God was really like (as John 14:9 says, “Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.”) Those who work from a ‘penal substitution’ view say that the discussion about the nature and identity of God begins with ‘the law’ and not with Jesus. In fact, ‘penal substitution’ draws the attention so much to ‘the law’ that even God must submit to its dictates. In this view, God is so uptight about sin (disobedience against the law) that God MUST punish lawbreakers. So, then, the two hermeneutical principles that inform my interpretation of scripture are the doctrine of the Trinity and the conviction that the nature (DNA, if you will) of God is LOVE. Both these principles rise up from the scripture, where as the ‘penal’ view does not. So, while you may disagree with me, please don’t see my objection as merely a visceral discomfort with the notion of God’s ‘anger’ or ‘wrath.’ Rather these ideas (as they are understood from a ‘penal substitution’ viewpoint) are simply inconsistent with biblical theology.

So, then, the logical question is this: “If God was NOT pouring out wrath on Jesus as a penal substitution for us, then what exactly was happening at the cross?” The answer is that the cross is a unified expression of LOVE from our Triune God. Texts that affirm this include 2 Corinthians 5:19 and Hebrews 9:14 which together place Father, Son, and Holy Spirit together, on the cross, bringing all humanity the gift of salvation. Beyond all else, salvation is an invitation to participate in ‘the Divine dance’ (perichoresis).

As I said earlier, God is not schizophrenic. He does not suffer from a multiple-personality disorder. There is not a good guy God in a white hat named Jesus, and a mean God in a black hat called the Father. There is one Triune God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) who loves without condition and has not only forgiven us, but has removed sin from us, and has made a way for full participation in the love relationship the Godhead shares. The word Paul uses is ‘adoption.’ God becomes one of us in Jesus. God takes up our cause. God draws us into relationship. (Ephesians 1:4-5)

Now with this picture in mind, how do we see this concept of God’s wrath? God’s wrath is God’s anger at sin because it hinders our ability to have intimacy with God. As a parent, I have often been angry at my children’s behavior. But I have never stopped loving them. I have never disowned them. Jesus makes this exact point in Matthew 7:9-11, when he says, “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” The message of the cross under the ‘penal substitution’ view is that God is angry with you and poured out His wrath on Jesus. The message of the cross from a proper Trinitarian understanding of the scripture is that God loves you. That’s why we call it GOSPEL.”

- Bill Nieporte