Maturity And Empathy

I have seen how youths have been indoctrinated by the institutional church. It seems that often they end up becoming mini versions of the pastors, mirroring the way they think and speak. They may be smart but somewhat misguided. I see myself in that because I have been influenced by the way the pastor speak too and I have borrowed his lingo in the past.

If I were to bring up my own child, I would prefer him or her to be compassionate foremost, and also be teachable yet discerning. While I may be pleased if my child takes me or my words seriously out of respect, I would also want my child to think for themselves and come to their own conclusion.

On another note, I think some people who have come out of the Christian religion may appear nasty or insensitive because they have not been subject to as much hurt and abuse in some areas as others, so it can be hard for them to relate to those who have undergone much pain and suffering. Besides, they may have been indoctrinated to the extent they are not even aware they have been abused in those areas. Instead, they may find themselves defending the doctrines they grew up with, such as the idea of respecting the "bride of Christ" and not being critical about the abusive church culture, since they may have accepted such mindsets without much questioning. I see myself in that because I too have been blinded by church teachings when I used to attend their services and serve in their ministries. Conversely, those of us who have shared about our pain and suffering openly in a community of people who have undergone abuse in institutional churches have chosen to be vulnerable in expressing our hurt, and perhaps only those who have been hurt similarly would be better able to empathise with us and show acceptance and non-judgment.

A word of encouragement by Robert Rutherford

We are all faced with challenges. Loss.... Disease..... Death of loved ones....financial catastrophe.... Abuse..... Hurt..... Pain..... All of these things serve to strengthen us..... To make us better.....
To prepare us for the rest of the journey. In the middle of the trial... We must focus on the strength within... And, look to the finish line. We will make it. The challenge at hand is our friend. It will help us. Don't hate the pain.... Embrace it.

~ Robert Rutherford

Yes, we all face challenges in life, at different times and in varying degrees of hardship, and I also agree that these things serve to strengthen us - we will emerge not only better, but stronger and wiser. It reminds me of an athlete training for a marathon - each training exercise, each lap around the running track, serves to prepare us for the long journey ahead. As we progress further down the road, I believe we will be able to look back and marvel at how our past hurt and pain have bolstered us and given us the strength and endurance and wisdom that we have acquired which we would not have otherwise acquired without the initial hardship, and we will find ourselves coping or faring much better. Yes, embracing our pain and loss is the way to experience more freedom and peace in the long run.