Courage, integrity and authenticity in sharing our struggles

I think the common unifying force that connects people is our human frailty and struggle because everyone goes through their personal struggle, and we may relate to one another better when we see others going through similar struggle as we do when they share about theirs. While some institutional church pastors may have shared some of their struggles with the congregation, it is usually in the form of testimony that describes how they met with some crisis and then they found faith in God whom they claimed to have turned things around for them, or how they struggled with some habits or addictions and then they claimed "God delivered them". While it might sound encouraging to some, in retrospect, this doesn't really give encouragement to those who still have doubts about God or are going through spiritual crisis or are coming to terms with their own sexuality, especially for those who are gays. In fact, such testimonies might even give the hearers the impression that there is something wrong with themselves that needs to be "fixed".

I suppose in institutional churches, pastors are generally tied to their pay checks, church committee and peer acceptance by other church pastors in the Christian circles, unfortunately, so they may be constrained to how much struggle they can afford to share with the congregation. If a pastor were to share with the congregation he is currently struggling with his doubts about God, or is questioning the church doctrines such as the literal hell doctrine, or is considering the fact that he might be gay, he risks being expelled from the institution and rejected by his peers in the Christian circles.

But if a pastor decides to be true to himself and be intellectually honest with his own doubts about certain doctrines as well as his own struggles in personal life, he would be willing to count the cost and bear the stigma of being ostracised by the religious fraternity and follow Jesus and find true freedom and peace. This act of courage, integrity and authenticity would also be an inspiration to those who are going through similar struggles themselves.

Mark Twain said, "It is easier to fool someone than it is to convince then that they've been fooled."

"Mark Twain said, "It is easier to fool someone than it is to convince then that they've been fooled."

But he didn't say it was impossible. That's why I started this page. It is my aim to loosen Christianity's grip around your mind. Why? Because Christianity claims to provide rock solid answers to the questions of mankind when in reality it's as if the whole belief system were held together with Scotch tape. Once you start to probe the logic behind Christendom you'll quickly discover that it makes no sense whatsoever. And what is touted as a God of love is actually a devil.

And once you're freed from Christianity's shackles, it matters not to me where you go from there. Weather you go into another theistic belief system or atheistic mind frame... I simply cannot stand silently and watch people be indoctrinated with the idea that there's only one grain of sand when in reality there's an entire beach of sand!"

- Mike Myers 

I agree with Mark Twain's quote as it usually takes someone from outside the system to realise (more easily) that they have been fooled by the system compared to those who are still in the system. So for those of us who are now outside the system of institutional church, the least we can do is to help others rethink about christianity (as we have been rethinking ourselves), such as through sharing our experiences and findings in our blogs and so on.

Maturity And Empathy

I have seen how youths have been indoctrinated by the institutional church. It seems that often they end up becoming mini versions of the pastors, mirroring the way they think and speak. They may be smart but somewhat misguided. I see myself in that because I have been influenced by the way the pastor speak too and I have borrowed his lingo in the past.

If I were to bring up my own child, I would prefer him or her to be compassionate foremost, and also be teachable yet discerning. While I may be pleased if my child takes me or my words seriously out of respect, I would also want my child to think for themselves and come to their own conclusion.

On another note, I think some people who have come out of the Christian religion may appear nasty or insensitive because they have not been subject to as much hurt and abuse in some areas as others, so it can be hard for them to relate to those who have undergone much pain and suffering. Besides, they may have been indoctrinated to the extent they are not even aware they have been abused in those areas. Instead, they may find themselves defending the doctrines they grew up with, such as the idea of respecting the "bride of Christ" and not being critical about the abusive church culture, since they may have accepted such mindsets without much questioning. I see myself in that because I too have been blinded by church teachings when I used to attend their services and serve in their ministries. Conversely, those of us who have shared about our pain and suffering openly in a community of people who have undergone abuse in institutional churches have chosen to be vulnerable in expressing our hurt, and perhaps only those who have been hurt similarly would be better able to empathise with us and show acceptance and non-judgment.